As we hit midlife or navigate the wild ride of menopause, something shifts. Maybe it’s the quieter house, the career we’ve been grinding at for decades, or the mirror reflecting a life we’ve built, but is it the life we wanted? So many of us have spent years on autopilot, checking boxes: be a good partner, parent, daughter, friend. We’ve hustled for the paycheck, the approval, the “shoulds” that society or someone else’s opinion handed us. But when do we stop and ask, “Am I living for me? Am I even happy? Or is it less about happiness and more about a life that feels deeply meaningful?

Let’s be real- happiness can feel like a loaded word. It’s not a destination you roll up to with a suitcase and a smile, like some Instagram-worthy vacation. It’s messier, more fleeting, and yet, deeply personal. By midlife, we’ve often spent so much time building a life around what others expect that we forget to check in with ourselves. What do I love to do? Who do I want to be around- people who lift me up or drain every ounce of my energy? Am I where I want to be financially, geographically, emotionally? Most importantly, am I living a life that aligns with what I value- not what someone else told me I should?

Think about it: how many of us carry around an inferiority complex because of a throwaway comment from years ago? Napoleon Hill hit the nail on the head when he said, “Opinions are the cheapest commodities.” Yet, we often let them shape us, limit us. Perhaps it was a teacher who told you that you wouldn't achieve much, a well-meaning parent who inadvertently sowed seeds of doubt, or a friend's casual comment that lingered in your mind like stuck glue. By midlife, it’s time to question those stories. What if they were wrong? I believe they were wrong. What if you get to decide what’s true about your life? Well, I believe you do. I believe each of us are meant to do something really special with our lives, we only need to embrace stillness and take the time to contemplate what that may be.

As a menopause specialist and a woman in midlife myself, I’ve been wrestling with these questions too. I’ve leaned into practices like journaling (shoutout to Morning Pages from The Artist’s Way), creating daily gratitude lists, and reflecting on what truly matters. It’s not about chasing some glossy version of happiness- it’s about rediscovering what sets your soul on fire. The little moments of joy. The childlike wonder we’ve buried under to-do lists and obligations.

So, how do we get there? Barbara Stegemann, in The 7 Virtues of a Philosopher Queen, offers four questions that cut straight to the heart of a meaningful life. I invite you to write these down as I have and revisit them often:

• Do I love my work or what I’m learning?
• Am I surrounded by friends and family who truly support me?
• Am I giving back to my community in a way that feels selfless?
• Can I let go of worrying about what others think and fully invest in my own path?

These aren’t just questions- they’re a roadmap to self-awareness. Happiness isn’t a constant state; it’s a byproduct of living in alignment with your values.

Let’s get practical. Grab a notebook and list what you value most- maybe it’s faith, family, health, creativity, or adventure. Then, ask yourself: Am I living these values every day?

• If you value spirituality, are you carving out time for prayer, meditation, or reading something that feeds your soul?
• If you value relationships, are you really present when you’re with your partner, kids, or friends- no phone, no distractions, just connection?
• If your health matters to you, are you engaging in physical activity (even when motivation is low), choosing nutritious options instead of convenient ones, and prioritizing rest?

Here’s the hard truth: we waste so much time. We dwell on a past we can’t change and fret about a future that’s not promised. Our lives are just a collection of moments, and yet we often let them slip by, spent on things that don’t matter to us. That meeting you didn’t need to attend. That grudge you’re still holding that actually only harms your well-being and happiness! That fear of what someone might think if you dared to be your full, unfiltered self.

So, here’s my challenge to you: stop waiting for permission to live a life that feels meaningful. I used to think happiness was the goal-some shiny state of constant joy. But I’ve come to believe it’s not about chasing a happy life; it’s about pursuing a more meaningful one.  Imagine waking up each day with a sense of purpose, whether that’s through creating, connecting, giving back, or simply cherishing the little moments that ignite your spirit- a walk in nature, a heartfelt conversation with a friend, or a peaceful moment of gratitude. My aspiration is for you to wake up each morning excited about how you will spend your day and who you will share it with. I want your days to overflow with whatever you choose to fill them with!

As a nurse practitioner and menopause specialist, I could focus on hormones and health stats, but this is about something bigger- you. Your heart. Your purpose. Take a moment today to ask: What makes me feel like me? What’s one step I can take to live a life that matters to me? Maybe it’s saying no to what drains you or yes to what scares you. Whatever it is, your time is precious, and you deserve to spend it on what fills your soul.

So, let’s not just chase happiness- let’s build a life of meaning, one intentional moment at a time.

"Life is a series of moments and moments pass." 

If you’re looking for a menopause specialist to guide you through this transformative season, I’d love for you to book with me to explore how we can align your health with your deeper goals. You can book your appointment here.